Fly me to the moon - Engagement story
I bet you have already read Joy's side of the story. On my end, I’d been a bit nervous(to put it very mildly) about how to propose and when to do it in a memorable manner, in keeping with my self-imposed standards. I couldn’t accept doing something remotely similar to what anyone else had done. I have been told I've set the bar high. Well, now it's up in the air, literally. :)
I knew that I’d propose during our trip to the US but I had hoped it could be while we were on the cruise, as we had several ports of call; from Mexico to the Bahamas. I didn’t know exactly how I was going to do it but I kept an open mind for it and said that I’d know it when I saw it. I also knew that my love wanted an intimate experience, without people present in that moment to take off any pressure and have a memory just for the two of us.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, I’d resolved to do it in the Bahamas with some dolphins ( based on her reaction when we saw some dolphins in the Cayman Islands; she was like a kid in a candy store) and have them trained to present her a ring but as I was forming up that plan, our captain on the cruise ship announced that due to a terrible storm, we would not dock in the Bahamas. I was mildly distressed. I now had to pivot again and hatch another plan, without telling my best friend and love, who I could tell was starting to get low-key anxious as she was “anticipating” the proposal anytime soon.
The one day I thought I’d just do it in a simple way was a night she was in a beautiful red dress and we were taking photos on the concourse, just the two of us. I’d rationalised that since we were onboard a cruise ship, sailing in the middle of Cuba, Bahamas and Jamaica, that this would be a unique location and it would be okay! Thank God it didn’t happen that way, for dramatic reasons too. 😂
I’d resolved that I was going to pop the question that day, but but but, I’d left the ring in our room. I then coaxed my dear beloved into going back to the room (to do something I can’t remember) and that’s when I picked the ring up stealthily and we were on our way out. As fate would have it, as we approached the concourse, we got into a bit of an argument. Don't ask why she got mad at me, hehe, but just know my plan was ruined, AGAIN! I then started to get anxious about the proposal as we seemed to be up against so many odds. Interestingly, before the trip, I’d “jokingly” told my dear not to be mad at me at any point during the trip because she may get pissed at me on the day I was to propose and ruin the plans 😂 Prophetic much!
Anyways, with that plan out of the window, the cruise angle was gone and now my only hope was in Miami, where we would have a few days stay before travelling back home. We had other activities planned for the rest of the week and this left us with Friday, the last day of the trip (according to our planned itinerary), to pop the question.
Curious Joy kept asking me if I had any special plans, wink wink, and I had to keep calm as I told her to trust me. I'm sure she was smelling a rat as she anticipated the proposal on this trip and had protected her nails from any damage the entire trip for 'any surprise'. Sadly, she broke one nail on the last leg of the trip, on her right hand, and God knows how she walked me through Mexico (once we docked there) , looking for nail glue. Our women are quite something!
I knew that I had to do it before the week's end and I had been praying to God all through the trip to give me wisdom on how to do it. I asked Him to reveal to me a way that would be memorable. Around then, I came up with the idea of proposing on a hot air balloon over Miami, so I looked for where to get one but couldn’t quite find it. Luckily, what I did find were helicopter and private plane tours of Miami. I didn’t want to even think of a helicopter, even though it’s the most Miami Vice thing ever, because of the memory of Kobe, so I chose to do it via private plane.
I did the logistics and confirmed all this on Monday while at Miami Beach where I was seeing the flights going over Miami. At least I’d finally figured it out, this was a massive weight off of my shoulders. During the week, I didn’t even bother looking out for other ideas as I’d settled on the most memorable way I’d do it.
Fast forward to Friday! The Uber ride to the airport was 30 minutes as of the Thursday night when I’d checked so I had timed ourselves, knowing we had to be at the airport by 4:30pm when we would be given a briefing and start the flight at 5pm, which would be their last flight of the day.
When I ordered the Uber and put in the location at 4pm after shopping, it was saying 1 and a half hours to our destination!!!!! By the time we would reach, it would be the time our flight was to end!! And as if that wasn’t enough pressure, I’d kept it till the very end and if we had not been able to do it then, we wouldn’t do it because we were to leave Miami the following morning. There would be no other time to pivot and find a new idea as we would be on a long flight back home the next morning.
I texted Renata, who was our service provider, and informed her about our delay and unfortunate traffic situation, which she totally understood, being a Miami resident. She was totally cool and calm about it and reassured me saying, “We are here for you, don’t worry.” Those words were like the words of an angel at that moment because I knew I’d messed up with my timing, having not anticipated Friday evening traffic that is universal.
Also, I’d purposely thrown my dear off my scent, by acting as if I’d unintentionally said something about my plans for that day when I said we’d be on something like a boat that passed us by as we roamed the streets of Downtown Miami, later that day... which obviously was not true. But I didn’t want her to even think she knew what I was up to! It worked beautifully.
Also, the way God works, had we been on time, we wouldn’t have had the pleasure of viewing the most beautiful sunset. But because of our delay, we were perfectly poised to see the most beautiful and most memorable sunset of our lives. Of course, God showed out on that day because He too knew how big a deal it was!
In keeping with the special nature of that day, before we took off, the plane was retrofitted with a GoPro to record the flight and the special moment. This was really cool and thoughtful, helping us to have that moment captured for eternity. Imagine such favour... that it was done for the first time on that flight for us! And the beautiful video thereafter was evidence of how loved we are.
As we took off, I knew that when we would land back at the airport, I’d be an engaged man. We took off smoothly and my mind was working overtime trying to find the perfect spot.
As we flew over downtown Miami, I remembered that I’d gotten the idea for this proposal while we were down at Miami Beach and so I knew that I’d propose while we were flying over the beach. I somehow figured that I’d get Joy to help me take a video of her side of the view, since she was facing the beach and I was facing the open ocean. So, as she stretched to get the perfect video, I pulled out the ring from my jacket pocket and waited for her to look back at me.
She exclaimed and did a little shocked jump, which was a sign that I’d properly surprised her and she hadn’t seen it coming. That in itself was a win for me, if nothing else, because I pride myself on being the only person capable of surprising my bestie.
Even as I knew that I’d be proposing on this trip, I sadly didn’t have a prepared speech to give her when the moment arrived, a testament to my planning prowess or lack thereof, where I focused on the how to propose but not on what to say as I propose, yikes 😬 Anyhoo, I spoke from the heart and all I remember is asking my bestie to marry me and for us to spend all our days together, to grow old and toothless together, to which she promptly and enthusiastically said yes, with a caveat that I’d be the only one getting toothless.
The weight of the world was finally off of my shoulders and our pilot Valentina was the first to congratulate us, having listened in to everything 😬 which made me a bit shy but oh well. To be honest, I don’t remember what happened next on the tour as we were just looking at the ring and taking photos together to celebrate the moment, just the 2 of us.
Upon landing, the tour guide/ organiser came and congratulated us, encouraging us to just take the quintessential kneeling down proposal photo outside the plane for posterity.
I knew I’d pulled it off when I heard her narrating the story to her friends and family, hearing how she was so proud of it all and that’s when I could let out a relieved sigh. Now, on to the next chapter of our never-ending love story; MARRIAGE! I’m so excited for this, to say the least... but more on that to follow, in due time!
“The man who sanctifies his wife understands that this is his divinely ordained responsibility… Is my wife more like Christ because she is married to me? Or is she like Christ in spite of me? Has she shrunk from His likeness because of me? Do I sanctify her or hold her back? Is she a better woman because she is married to me?” — R. Kent Hughes
Our engagement story!
“You find people in your life who love you. And what those people do is, because they love all of you, even your flaws, is they give you permission even to love yourself.” Viola Davis
I resonate with this quote as I am glad that I found the one I love, and that we will be tying the knot soon. Here’s the story of how he popped THE question. (This is my version of the story as I muse here on the blog [after being away for a while]. Stay tuned to the next blog post where he will share his side of the story. )
Let’s start from way back. As a young girl, I don’t think I had ever built castles in the air about what my engagement day would look like. I didn’t know if I’d wanted a grand ceremony with family and friends around, or maybe an intimate session with my beloved. However, as I watched several engagement videos on social media over time, I figured that I would like it intimate and thoughtful. Memorable too. Being the planner that I am, I also had a Pinterest board with an idea of the ring I wanted. In rose gold. Not too flashy though. Classy and minimalist. Not a tall order huh? I know my fiancé is quite the statement-maker. His grand ideas never cease to amaze me. But I surely didn’t see this coming.
It was our last day of a family trip and we were busy trying to gather all the things up and pack for the long journey back home. I had plans to go to the grocery store and buy spices we don’t have back home (you can see where my priorities were, in the kitchen 😂) Anyway, he told me to keep my afternoon open and I had a gut feeling to dress well, coz you know, anything could happen. Wink wink!
While walking around the streets of downtown Miami, we came across a bridge over a mainstream river before it joined the ocean. A yatch was passing by and we stood by looking at it.
Hosea quipped, "that’s like the one we’re going to be in later today.”
"Oh really!" I thought..."must be nice!"
I kept quiet incase I betrayed my excitement. I could picture the ocean breeze blowing through my hair as we rode through the sea, into the sunset. Haha jokes on me, it was all a decoy! We finished the shopping and got into an Uber that took us to a destination. It was supposed to be a 40 minute ride.
“Eh...where are we going?" I asked, my curiosity rising.
“Calm down. Don't worry! You’ll just see.” He said.
“Okay Joy," I told myself, “you need to be patient and not ruin the surprise.”
I sat quietly and later dozed off during the journey, waking up about 30 minutes later. Hosea kept texting someone saying we were going to be late. I could see him breaking a cold sweat as we made our way through traffic. I felt for him as indeed, the traffic was terrible that Friday afternoon, yet here we were working on American time. Where 5 pm is 5 pm sharp. Africans must have truly thrown their clocks ⏰ out somewhere. Hehe, no shade…but my fellow Africans, we need to work on our timeliness. Myself included.
I could see on the Uber driver's maps that we were inching closer to the location. Although, it didn’t have any water body around. You can imagine what was running through my mind. “But didn’t he say earlier that…”
Anyway, I complied and sat pretty. We got to the location, Miami Executive Airport.
“Wow, okay, what are we doing here? What’s this man up to? Interesting! “
“Welcome my love, “ Hosea said, as he stretched his hand out to help me out of the car and into the main office. The manager welcomed us and told us that she understood our tardiness, Friday traffic was usually bad. She then went on to introduce us to their company dealing with private chartered flights, of which we were going to get our own, to look at the sunset view.
It then dawned on me. On the first day in Miami, Hosea had looked up at the setting sun, painted in wonderful hues of orange and pink, and mentioned that he would love to watch a sunset up close and personal before he left. Now here we were fulfilling that dream. I should have seen this coming!
We signed a few forms and were introduced to our very young pilot, Valentina. I was blown away by her youth and that she was a woman! Girl power activated! We took a few pictures and then boarded the plane after safety instructions. The plane took off and up and away we went. It was surreal. The Miami skyline was beautiful, although there was cloud cover that day. We passed over the busy Miami downtown, Millionaire’s Row with massive homes for the wealthy, the Miami Beach ...all breathtaking.
Hosea asked me to take a video of the skies on my side of the window and as I turned back to hand the phone back to him, there I saw a ring. He had a whole speech, which to be honest, I can’t remember! Except where he asked me to be his wife, and where he said we’d grow old and toothless together to which I responded..."you'll be toothless alone! I will have a full set of teeth!" Haha... and of course I said yes! 😃
We got back to land and did the quintessential picture of him on his knees, and thereafter, took a few moments to take it all in. The views. The moment in the skies. Wow! Isn't God good! We got back home and told family the great news and also called friends to share the news! It really was magical and I’m glad we have some pictures to share.
The journey to the altar has been quite something so far, and all in all, we look forward to the goal of being together forever. To my love, Hosea. Ni we mtima wange, nakupenda sana.
Engagement shoot credits:
Photography & Creative Direction: @samorashoots and @michajsr
Location: Naishola Gardens, Limuru. ( It is such a dreamy and serene place to be, amidst tea farms and the chilly Tigoni weather.)
Shoutout to my amazing dear friend, Samora who did these engagement photos, with her able assistant, my brother Michael. You can check out their pages and engage them for photography/videography work...I highly endorse! They made the photoshoot so much fun and I thank God that we had the honor of them doing the shoot for us.
Should I say styling by me? Yes. Styling by Mueni Muli. Fashion enthusiast. But for real, thanks to Hosea who was a darling during our video calls planning outfits for the shoot. I'm starting to see us in those matching couples outfits because tell me why we had so many complementary colours in our closets? Its the earth tones for me!
Stay tuned for Hosea's version of the story on the next blogpost.
Until next time,
Sola gratia (Grace alone)
WHEN THE WOMB BECOMES A TOMB
It’s quite an irony that these two words rhyme and yet they are at two pinnacles of life in great contrast to one another. Life and death.
The womb. It was our first bed as we lay there for months, preparing to come into this world. It is a marvellous organ. I use that word intentionally since I marvel at the uterus every single day while in my Obstetrics and Gynaecology rotation. I wonder how something as small as a fist expands to accommodate an entire human being. Not only that, but it can happen multiple times. The other day I saw a woman who had had 10 pregnancies. Slow clap! I can only imagine what that journey has been like for her!
The tomb. It is a dreaded place to lay. So dreaded that some say ‘God forbid’ even when one mentions writing a will. Death isn't a welcome visitor, yet one day it will knock at each of our doors. But a tomb for a child? A grave for a life that didn’t see the light of day? Is that really fair?
I asked myself these questions the other day as we examined a stillbirth (ie. death of a baby before or during delivery). The baby had anencephaly (where a baby is born without parts of the brain and skull.) We had already seen this on ultrasound and accounted for it in the delivery plan by carrying out induced labour for the mother. But even then, I wasn’t prepared for it. Seeing the baby’s fragile limp body laying there made me queasy. The baby’s head was missing the calvarium (skull) and the cerebrum. As we examined the baby for any other fetal malformations, I saw the mother peeping in our direction. I wondered if she would change her mind and want to look at the baby. She had initially declined and I could see why in her eyes. Such deep sorrow, as she blinked away the tears that had welled up in her eyes.
These thoughts were drowned out by the sound of the consultant teaching us how to examine for fetal and placental malformations. Somewhere in between she mentioned how the longest she’d seen a baby with anencephaly live was all of 91 days. A precise number. Hmm! It remains a statistic to us medics, but an unfortunate reality for some mothers.
I saw the phrase ‘womb is a tomb’ from Instagram, where one of the ladies I follow was sharing about her journey with miscarriages. She has a gold necklace with pendants engraved with initials of the first letter of the names of the children she’s lost. I saw the post a few weeks into my rotation and wondered how triggering it must be to be asked the question “Umepoteza mimba zozote? “ (Have you had any pregnancy losses?), yet it is such a frequent question we ask as medics. Some ladies respond “not yet” to which I silently note the use of that word yet.
The lady in the post went on to say that she’s seen God’s faithfulness in spite of the losses, as she went on to have two lovely children, but each time she celebrates what would have been her children’s birthdays, the dark cloud of sorrow hangs over her yet again. Groans and moans of a womb as a tomb.
Then there was a mother who had an intrauterine fetal death due to abruption of the placenta (seperation of the placenta from the uterine wall). She had severe vulval swelling as well post-delivery. The following day, I went to check up on her in the ward and at the end of the conversation, tried to comfort her because of her loss. She responded “Nishapoa daktari” (Doctor, I am already well). I was taken aback by her response. “Well? How can you be well one day after your loss?” I thought. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism; undone as her forlorn affect had given it away. Curled up in bed, I wondered what went through her mind when she heard the babies crying in the nearby nursery. How would that make her feel? Did the cries stimulate milk flowing down into her breasts? We were already giving her a medication to help reduce milk production, but of what use are breasts full of milk if they will not be suckled by the little bundle of joy your heart had eagerly awaited to love and to hold?
I am still learning how not to be engulfed by compassion fatigue due to the heaviness of such emotions, to the point that it affects my own emotional health. In all these scenarios, I end up feeling terrible about battling feelings of whether I want to have children or not, yet many women are struggling to get them.
How can I really give hope to the woman with blocked tubes whose husband went to get another wife ten years ago so that he could have children, when I have many questions surrounding child-bearing myself? Could I really put myself in the shoes of the lady who thinks walking around the previous day while shopping is what caused her miscarriage the following day? Oh how seeing her curl up in her husband's embrace as I broke the sad news to them made me shudder. When the womb becomes a tomb. A great tragedy.
This blogpost is an honest musing of my day to day internship experiences. The reflections aren’t to highlight anyone in the scenarios, or seek comfort, but just to pour my thoughts out. I welcome any conversations around them. Soli deo gloria.
(All photos are from Unsplash.com.)
Taking stock: March 2022
I remember seeing this type of blog post on Sharon Mundia's blog about 5 years ago. It struck me as something I would like to do, especially since it would be a lovely journal-type storage of my thoughts that I could refer back to years down the line. So here it goes, my March Taking Stock list.
Making: the most of the time I have left in my community health rotation. It's been really fun being out in the field, visiting patients and seeing the personalized patient care that goes on outside the hospital, especially with palliative care. The joy of community is palpable; for example the family of an elderly gentleman we visited insisted that we couldn't leave without having lunch. It was heartwarming as he had late stage prostatic cancer that had metastasized to his spine, yet he stood up to help his wife serve us and wash our hands.
Eating: lots of food! Just came from a surgical society conference at Pride Inn Paradise Mombasa and I admit, I may have had one too many plates of sumptuous food off the buffet. I hope to recreate a beetroot and cucumber salad I had while there today...I dream of that food daily!
Drinking: my favourite juice, Go Fruit Mojito. Not too sweet or sour. The perfect blend of flavour, especially when ice chilled. I was told it's apparently used as a chaser but the only thing I'm chasing is after the Lord!😅
Reading: The Unhurried Life by Alan Fadling. The constant working and feelings of never-ending striving made it a suitable book to look out for. Thankfully my boyfriend got a physical copy for me to delve into. Hoping to learn a few things about rhythms of rest from it.
Wanting: to eat a brownie. God knows where I got this craving from but wheeew, I might buy some baking chocolate just to make some for myself.
Playing: Never settle for less by Khaya Mthethwa. The song has the simplest lyrics but the depth moves me to tears. So much truth in Khaya's ad lib;Â ''It's time that we find ourselves in you Lord. We will not settle for sickness /disease/pain/ a broken heart/depression.''Â A huge amen to that!
Creating: an ocean themed PowerPoint on women in medicine for a knowledge drop session/talk as an Osmosis Regional Lead. I'm feeling a bit scared about how the session will go but I'm hopeful. (Update; the session went well! Had such great interaction from the attendees. You can find the recording of the session here )
Wishing: I had week long holidays each month for travelling. I just came from a week of travel (Bomet - Kisumu - Kakamega - Kisumu - Nairobi - Mombasa -Nairobi - Bomet) that looks like a crazy itinerary but it was oh so thrilling!
Enjoying: playing the board game 'Kenya at 50' in a group setting. The competition is exhilarating; seeing players struggling not to directly translate words or seeing them screaming out when the time is out for another team is really funny!
Loving: the season of reduced anxiety and worry that I have been in. Learning momentary contentment is saving me hours I'd have spent thinking up the million things that could go wrong and instead, just live in the now.
Hoping: to commit to myself a lot more. I seem to be honoring my commitment to others faithfully yet not living up to promises I make to myself with the same seriousness. eg. I have postponed putting out this blogpost for the past 10 days since March ended for no other reason than fear. Of what? I'm not sure... but it needs to get out the door!
Marveling: at the strength of mothers. The patience to instruct and faithfulness to daily care fascinates me. Motherhood is indeed a calling.
Smelling: my favorite body lotion, gifted by my brother Adrian called 'A thousand wishes' by Bath and Bodyworks. It smells like pastries in heaven. Was surprised that he knew what exactly I'd like. It's notes are ' Pink Prosecco, Crystal peonies (my fav flowers!) and Amaretto creme. To be honest, I recognize only the peonies on that list...hehe!
Wearing: my rose gold Enkata watch with such joy! I love the fact that it's a Kenyan brand that has carved its niche for elegant and sleek watches among many other brands in the country and globally too. Did I mention their customer service is A-one ? I went to get my watch strap shortened and they were really swift and professional with the work. It was done in a jiffy! Plus they have a lifetime supply of battery changes! Super cool.
Remembering: the IWD All-women Orchestra concert . Wasn't able to play in it this year coz of you know, crazy internship hours at the hospital and being away from Nairobi , but I am so glad I attended.
Following: each episode of Sweet Magnolias Season 2 closely. I really don't want to finish the season. I binge watched season 1 during the Covid lock down and waited an entire 2 whole years for the next season. The sweet story of friendships among powerful women, sprinkled with feel good romance...right down my alley!
Noticing: that unfortunately, mass media gives a lot of biased news. Trying to look for all sides of a story before jumping to conclusions based on what the news headlines say. eg. a local newspaper reported that the government had banned feeding bottles for babies yet that was nowhere near the truth. It may take extra effort, but I'd rather do my due diligence as most news topics are more sensational than educative.
Knowing: that life is a journey with each one of us at different points of it, has somewhat helped lessen my comparison. This was taught to me by my friend, Ron, who was mentoring me in saxophone. He reminded me that if I decide to focus on the peak rather than the daily rock (ie. daily practice), I will lose sight of the journey up the mountain, yet that's what matters most.
Bookmarking: some lovely dresses that I'd like to buy from an online clothing store called Cider. I find it hard to shop online, so its a huge leap for me, but I love fashion and sure do enjoy frolicking around in pretty dresses!
Opening: some of my obstetrics books for the first time in 2 years as I prep to go into my ObsGyn rotation. It's really to try build my confidence as I feel like I have forgotten a lot of that material since we did it in 5th year.
Giggling: at the Joyride podcast. How Ben Cyco speaks is naturally funny and with his now wife, Wanjiru, we get to see this in deep, thoughtful conversations. Sweet!
Feeling: calm. The waves of my life are ebbing up and down but there's some stillness from God that I can't complain about.
Lovely month to you!
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26: 3
On that note: Lily in the valley
"Lily in the valley
Sparrows in skies above,Â
The sun now slowly setting
Held in the Father's love
Oh child do not be troubled
You are worth more than these
His face has shown upon you
He is the pearl you seek
And worry adds no single hour
But he knows every need "
These are the lyrics to 'Lily in the Valley' by Keith and Kristyn Getty, that God used to rebuke me gently today.
I realised that I care most about His care when I believe I most need His help. Or when I think that He should care more for me. Eg, right now for me, that looks like getting through my final med school exams successfully and passing in a recent interview I did. 
Yet, in contrast to my worrying, a flower in a garden somewhere has God the gardener tending to it. Not a day does it worry about its survival or pray harder if a drought seems near.
Each day a flower stays alive is a testimony of God's daily care.
Each day someone doesn't trample on a flower, is a symbol of God's deep care.
Each day the sun nourishes it, each day it receives water from above or below...
Each day, He shows His face upon flowers here below.
Each day a fish swims in the sea, is a testament of God's daily care.
Each day it gets food, is not caught up in a net, or not eaten by a predator...
Each day, He shows his face upon fish and sea creatures down below.
So today may my heart truly learn that: Each day, the Lord is concerned about me.
Each day, He knows my every need.Â
Each day, His face shines upon me.
Each day, I can trust Him to keep track of all that matters to me.
I will not be afraid or troubled. He knows my every need.
If these musings resonate with you, may God help us trust in His DAILY care for us. He knows just what we need. Blessings!
(All pictures by Hosea Bigirwa. Used with permission. )Â
On That Note
This new series title ‘On that note’ is a pun off two things- musical note and mental note. It will involve my reflections on music, particularly songs that speak to me and what lessons they teach me. I’ll try to accompany the blog series with video/audio covers of the songs (either voice or saxophone covers.)
On that note, check out my short saxophone cover of Jireh- Elevation Worship and Maverick City on my Instagram .
For the listening peeps, here's me reading the blogpost for you as is the usual here on Bloom.
https://soundcloud.com/joy-mueni-muli/on-that-note-jireh-m4a
For the past couple of weeks, this has been my go-to song. Whether on my way to school or while washing dishes, I have replayed it about a million times. It was particularly interesting that just before it was released, my best friend and I had a conversation on God as Jireh, that is, God the Provider. When you think of God providing, is the first thing you think about material? That is, blessings of money, a job, new clothes?
Well, Jesus is more than material blessings, and this is a lesson we must hold on to in these prosperity gospel filled times. My prayers in the recent past have looked like ‘What more can God give me?’ yet He has given me the best thing yet, Himself. Not that I don’t have any physical needs. But, I must remain cognizant of the greatest need I had that He has already blessed me with.
Jireh means ‘The one who will see to it that my every need is met.’ Just the way we say to our friends, ‘I will see to your matter’ when we are out to help them , so does God say to us. And it is in present continuous tense. The Lord Sees. How wonderful is that!
‘‘Jehovah Jireh is not The Lord Did provide, but the Lord will provide. In other words, the name doesn’t simply memorialize a past event, it anticipates a future action.’’ Got Questions website
I was curious to see where this name of God was first seen in the Bible. Turns out it was in Genesis 22. After God provided a ram in exchange of Isaac for a sacrifice, Abraham named the mountain ‘The Lord will Provide’, a prelude of the ultimate sacrifice that would be given to us, Jesus Christ.
‘For God so loved the world that He GAVE his only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.’ John 3:16
Here is a short excerpt from a Charles Spurgeon preaching in 1884 on the same:
(full sermon can be found here)
‘’I believe that the truth contained in the expression “Jehovah-Jireh†was ruling Abraham’s thought long before he uttered it and appointed it to be the memorial name of the place where the Lord had provided a substitute for Isaac. It was this thought, I think, which enabled him to act as promptly as he did under the trying circumstances. His reason whispered within him, “If you slay your son, how can God keep his promise to you that your seed shall be as many as the stars of heaven?†He answered that suggestion by saying to himself, “Jehovah will see to it!†As he went upon that painful journey, with his dearly beloved son at his side, the suggestion may have come to him, “How will you meet Sarah when you return home, having imbrued your hands in the blood of her son? How will you meet your neighbours when they hear that Abraham, who professed to be such a holy man, has killed his son?†That answer still sustained his heart— “Jehovah will see to it! Jehovah will see to it! He will not fail in his word. Perhaps he will raise my son from the dead; but in some way or other he will justify my obedience to him, and vindicate his own command. Jehovah will see to it.†This was a quietus to every mistrustful thought. I pray that we may drink into this truth, and be refreshed by it. If we follow the Lord’s bidding, he will see to it that we shall not be ashamed or confounded. If we come into great need by following his command, he will see to it that the loss shall be recompensed. If our difficulties multiply and increase so that our way seems completely blocked up, Jehovah will see to it that the road shall be cleared. The Lord will see us through in the way of holiness if we are only willing to be thorough in it, and dare to follow wheresoever he leads the way.’’
I will be content in every circumstance.
Forever enough, always enough, more enough
Every circumstance for me feels like too it’s too many a times to be content. Just last week, something unexpected happened in relation to our ward allocation at the hospital and this lyric gnawed at my heart. I was emotionally destabilized at the changes in the ward allocation and spent a better part of the afternoon asking God ‘Really? Really now?’
It wasn’t a life-or-death moment. Surely some may even say I was being petty but right there when my heart was crushed, God provided comfort, release and joy in that moment when I desperately needed it. He saw me!
I pray that we may all prioritize Jesus, because ''more than what He can give us and what we receive from Him, He is our highest pleasure, our greatest treasure, our sole pursuit and our crown jewel.’' That’s a quote from John Musyimi’s book, A counterfeit Gospel, that I read back in 2018.
So even as we listen to this song, I hope that as you sing ‘Jireh, you are enough’ this may be true for you.
Knowing that God is a God who sees you where you are, loves you deeply, not more than He did a second ago and not less than He will in a few seconds from now. May that comfort fill your heart just as it has been for me. The one who sees. Jireh.
He-motions
Audio reading of the blogpost for those who prefer listening in than reading.
https://soundcloud.com/joy-mueni-muli/he-motions-m4a
Men are emotional.
This past week, this statement has been ringing in my mind, following a series of events and conversations that reminded me that indeed, men are emotional beings. I don’t know why it always comes as a surprise to me though. Perhaps the cultural association that emotions are for the ‘weak’.
Well, I should have known by now that behind the beards, chiseled faces and muscular frames, lie hearts of flesh. Hearts that feel. Besides, isn’t it human to feel? Perhaps years of conditioning men not to show their emotions has made us have a false notion that they HAVE no emotions. Therein lies the problem.
I have seen the detrimental effects of denying this truth and teaching men to suppress their emotions and “kukaa ngumuâ€, that is, to stay strong. Those stories need no retelling. So today, I choose to share a a short story of an encounter I had with two men that reiterated the fact to me; men are emotional.
The tale of the first man;
“We will first see this patient before having our discussion on club foot,†said Martin*(name changed for confidentiality) our teacher for the day. The club foot clinic that happens every Thursday at KNH attracts patients from far and wide, seeking help for this foot deformity associated with a lot of stigma. As the parents walked in, holding a swaddled baby, I noticed that the father was the one carrying the baby.
Hmmm…Interesting.
Martin gave us a brief of the patient’s history and progress so far. The baby was 2 weeks old and was going to have the first of the serial casts needed to correct the bilateral club foot fitted that day at the clinic. Once Martin set-up the Plaster of Paris, water and the other necessary materials, he beckoned to the father to have a seat as he fit the casts on the baby’s feet, which would be changed after 1 week.
“Aaaw! Look. The father is the one carrying the baby,†whispered my friend who was seated next to me.
“I know right!†Trust me when I tell you that it was a sight to behold. Rare it is to see a father accompany the mother to bring the child to hospital, more so to see the father carrying the baby! Wow!
The tale of the second man;
Once the casts were moulded properly, Martin directed the couple to the waiting lounge to let the plaster dry up and receive further instructions. He then went on to give us a short tutorial on club foot; the pathophysiology, treatment protocol and holistic management. During the teaching, he kept repeating the statement ‘club foot treatment needs to carried out in a kind and sensitive manner.’
Kind and sensitive manner. Kind and sensitive manner.
I’m not sure why this stood out to me, but a public acknowledgement of sensitivity by a man was definitely worth noting.
Lest I belabour the point, Martin sealed the deal by picking up a phone call from his father during the tutorial. As he excused himself and walked out to have the conversation, we overheard him greet his father and say “Hello dad. I miss you!â€
Tire screeching sounds*
Hold up! What did I just hear?
Did I just hear a man say I miss you, to his father?
My friend and I looked at each other and you could tell in our eyes that we were stunned. I joked that we were probably in our feels that day to have noticed all these things happening, but she confirmed that it definitely stood out, because of the rarity of such things in our day to day.
“It’s the emotions for me!â€
A tale of two men. I had to keep record of this encounter at this club foot clinic here on my blog, and perhaps use it as a starting point for a conversation on emotions among men. I’m curious, have you been at a place where seeing a man show emotions genuinely shocked/amazed you? Please do share your stories in the comments section. Let’s keep this conversation going.
Soli deo gloria!
Finding comfort in release (Poem)
Trusting is so difficult
It needs you to let go of the reins
To let the horse ride on without steering it to jump over that fence,
To skip over the puddle
To follow the path.
Instead the horse does the contrary
Splashes water while galloping through the puddles
Runs wild and free
Neighing in excitement over the free country, it wants to run free.
Trust needs you to give up the steering wheel
To a learner driver, yet you have years of driving experience
To be a passenger and watch them make mistakes
Make dangerous turns
Overtake without signaling
Trust is daring
And scary
It is letting go of what you think you can control
And letting the Master control it instead
Trust is not relying on yourself
Because you've let yourself down too many times anyway
That, my friends, is what trust is all about
A beautiful paradox
Having peace in what would otherwise be worry
Trust is finding comfort in release.
Today marks World Poetry Day and I pulled this simple poem out of my 2019 archives because my heart needed this reminder in light of all that's happening in the world around us.
"This is what the Lord says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord . “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord , whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.†(emphasis mine)
Jeremiah 17:5 , 7 - 8 NIV
Grace and Peace.
Choose to Challenge: My All Women's Orchestra Experience
“There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it’s hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve,
When you believe somehow you will,
You will when you believeâ€
These are the lyrics to “When you believeâ€, the encore piece at the Kenya Conservatoire Women’s orchestra concert weekend, in celebration of International Women’s Day 2021. This song was magnificent! From the glorious harmonies sung by The Trebles voices of Spellcast, to the powerful brass section on my row that belted out all the emotions, to the graceful flutes and the solemn strings section. It was such an honor being among such beautiful and powerful women, sharing a passion for music.
I subconsciously hum the tunes that were in our repertoire till today and fondly remember our practice sessions. At first, I was quite scared since being the only saxophonist (and an early intermediate player at that), I wondered whether I really did belong there. Had I jumped the gun and bitten off more than I could chew? Should I have waited it out one more year as I fine tune my skills on the saxophone? Would I have the time to practice faithfully with med school hot on my heels? Why did I have solo parts in some songs? Did they really trust me to be able to play that well? Besides, only my family and friends had heard me playing the sax. In fact, I had never played in front of any audience before!
Oh the days my eyes would beg for mercy from the conductor because I’d messed up my part and she and I both knew it! I remember leaving practice one Saturday so ready to call it quits. I told my close friends how I didn’t even believe I was capable of the task ahead of me so I would rather quit before it got too serious. You bet it felt like a movie scene, when a character is at a crossroads then a motivational song blasts out “I just can’t give up now, I’ve come too far from where I started from...† In fact mine was a whole choir, with 4 part harmonies, that belted out that song in my head!
This year’s theme for International Women’s day was #ChooseToChallenge; a challenged world is an alert world. Individually, we’re all responsible for our own thoughts and actions- all day and every day.
I’m so glad that that statement rings loud and true for me in light of my orchestra experience. I realize that nobody ever told me that I was not good enough for the orchestra. Nobody ever told me that I was a bad musician or that I didn’t deserve to be there. They were all a function of my own thoughts! The decision to push on despite how I felt was merely one of ego, to be very honest. I didn’t want to attend the concert as part of the audience wishing I was on the stage with them. Besides, being seen/known as a quitter wasn’t going to sit well with my sizeable ego!
But more so, I didn’t want to live with the fact that I disqualified myself. Would I ever forgive myself, knowing that I was the stumbling block to my own dream? In any case, the one person who could tell the story of the small improvements I had made over time or the daily progress I had seen was me! Yet I, was my biggest critic, all in the name of fear.
Koki Oyuke hit the nail on the head in her book ‘Chosen Not Cheated’:
“Safe is always slower-whether it has to do with money, relationships or plain old life. Like tortoises, we slow down our progress when we carry the burden of living sheltered. Sure, we may live longer, but the wrinkles on our faces will speak of survival and not adventure. They’ll speak of fear and not courage. We’ll have forgettable stories unworthy to be passed on. And that’s no way to live. Fear and weakness never inspired anyone to greatness. Only courage and strength.â€
And the room went silent.
Let me repeat it just for emphasis: Fear and weakness never inspired anyone to greatness!
I then implore you fellow lady reading this, #ChoosetoChallenge your own self-defeating thoughts! Rise up in courage to the journey set before you. Yes, some men or our society may disqualify us. Yes, inequality and issues diversity/inclusion may be our external enemies, but, may God help you quiet the internal voices that shut you down. Honey, you are capable of doing great glorious things! You’re worth it, never doubt it.
How interesting it is that Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston sung of the same thing in ‘When You Believe’;
“Many nights we prayed, with no proof anyone could anyone could hear
In our heats a hopeful song, we barely understood
Now we are not afraid, although we know there’s much to fear
We were moving mountains long before we knew we couldâ€
Go move mountains sis! #ChooseToChallenge
Grace and Peace.
PS: Shout-out to my beloved Hosea for the most thoughtful gift of a sax, to my family for braving through my daily evening practice (at 6pm like clockwork), to my teacher Erick who started me off with the basics on sax, to my close friends who cheered me on through my 100 days practice challenge and to all ladies of the orchestra, special mention to the woodwinds section! You guys took my breath away (hehe pun intended!)
SUNFLOWER
“Like a sunflower that follows every moment of the sun,
So I turn towards you, to follow you my God.â€
I remember the lyrics of this hymn we sung at primary school. It was of the calmest songs we sung on the morning assembly, and is possibly the reason why sunflowers intrigue me. Especially the part that says that the sunflower moves with the sun. It was simply mind blowing to my young mind, and left me with many questions; ‘Why does it follow the sun? How does it know how the sun moves? Is that why it’s called a sunflower?’
Well, I’ve read it up and research says that the sun-tracking ability of a young sunflower plant, also called, heliotropism, is explained by its circardian rhythms. That is, the plants have an internal clock (just like we humans do), that makes it face the east at dawn and slowly turn westward as the sun moves across the sky. It’s also because the different parts of the stem elongate at different parts of the day.
Now now, before I go all geeky on you, let me point out two things that intrigued me the most:
- A sunflower that follows the sun has more biomass and attracts more bees than one that doesn’t.
- A MATURE sunflower doesn’t follow the sun!
Short detour back to the lyrics for some clarity:
Like a sunflower that follows every moment of the sun,
So I turn towards you, to follow you my God.
I wonder if I really am a ‘sunflower’ that follows every moment of the SON. (Snaps at the wordplay there!) Honestly, I may do it from time to time, but I don’t think it is ingrained in me. I have moments of wanting my own way, a sure recipe for ‘attracting less bees’, as per our analogy.
Also, could my maturity as a Christian be filling me up with pride? Do I use my long-term Christianity as a crutch for my prideful thoughts where ‘I’m innocent until proven guilty’ and not vice versa?
I think Jonathan McReynolds summarizes it well in his song Best thing:
“I find my life, when I lose it in you
I gain control when I give it to you
I save myself when I let you save me
Yeah the best thing I can do for me is You.â€
I hope you enjoy my random musings. I look forward to sharing more of these here on Bloom. My goal is to share weekly on Saturday morning (6th year med school is giving me side eyes now but oh well, so help me God!)
For a while I believed that my inquisitive nature was a sure recipe for destructive overthinking , but I realize that it is what makes me aware of all that's around me. Case in point, I see a sunflower and go down the rabbit hole of what I can learn about it and from it. Well, you my reader, are in for a treat!
Grace and peace to you!