Barely breathing (My patient has died Part 2)
“Kindly make it as raw as possible…â€
Joy said, as she asked me to write down my experience with death as a medical student .
A statement which I found easy to attain because I see the topic at hand is as raw and bare in and of itself.
A topic which takes you the viewer through a rollercoaster of emotions and at its end, leaves you bewildered at its sudden arrival and departure.
The frightening aspect of this event is that it’s never described by the one experiencing it but rather than the audience viewing, hearing and at times, smelling it.
I for one was plunged into the whirlwind encounter of death at a tender age of twelve with the loss of my father to the grips of what they call bowel cancer.
It was at that time it hit me how mortal and fleeting we are as man but only in an abstract form, as I had not been a firsthand witness to my father’s last breath.
Upon joining med school I was beaming with naivety, ignorance and gusto on what it is to be a doctor since I had the sole pseudo knowledge of what death is through the loss of my father.
Death on the other hand had more up its sleeve to show me. It was third year; I walked into my assigned ward with enthusiasm completely ignoring my colleagues who were camped outside the ward dreading to enter the unknown.
The waft of faeces with the musk of sweat hit my nostrils and made me shudder at what was in store for me. I still mustered the courage to walk to the nurse at the front desk and ask with my calm baritonesque voice,
“Is there a doctor around who could show us around the ward?â€
The nurse barely looked up and pointed with her bic biro to the left where a young doctor seated on what seemed to be a picnic table.
I approached the doctor; her skin was caramel soft and teeth pearl white but her eyes told a different story, dull and sunken, are all I could read from them.
Before I could even utter a word she flew past me and went straight to the nurse, my ego biting at me at how easily I was ignored. When I finally caught her eye and begun to speak another nurse tugged her from behind swooping her to one of the ward rooms.
I followed cautiously behind and saw a flurry of hand motions, tubes being placed and ultimately a blanket being thrown over a motionless body.
I stood their perturbed at the flash of events, the young doctor finally spoke to me and simply said,
“Go read your Hutchinson’s I don’t have time to talk. â€
That was it. My colleagues and I were sent out of the ward. I for one, still confused at what I had witnessed, walked back to class wide eyed and taken aback.
The weeks went by but the brute memory of what I saw on my first day of clinicals was still gnawing at my soul.
“How could death be so abrupt?â€
Scenario 2:
It was a hot and stuffy afternoon in my ward at Kenyatta Hospital. My two colleagues and I were about to head for lunch break and were at the cusp of completing our clinical history at the female section.
I couldn’t help but hear the patient next to us begin to cough and gasp for air. I barely turned to look at her, just hoping it was just a passing irritant in her lungs. This was not the case. Her gasps became more erratic, her cough more violent and deep.
Upon turning to her, my face fell with shock, she was a petite girl barely of high school age. Her skin was pale, tears slowly streaming down her face from exertion. She haphazardly pushed her gas mask away from her face and looked at us without words but with a stare of resounding fear covering her face.
I rushed to call the nurse on duty who quickly dashed to where the patient was.
“ She’s in respiratory distress we have to do chest compressions. â€
She pointed at one of my colleagues and ordered him to begin the chest compressions. At first he looked awestruck at the order and slowly began what looked like gentle pats on the patient’s chest.
The nurse couldn’t correct him as she was already rushing to call the doctor on duty and get the resuscitation bag.
Again, here I was watching the flurry of hand motions occur. The sounds around me fell silent as the phenomenon of death began to creep in.
When the nurse had returned, it seemed like a day had passed. The doctor’s face was distraught at the scene. My colleague was pushed away and we then saw what true chest compressions are;the doctor pushed down on her small frame as if wanting to break both her ribcage and the bed she laid on.
The nurse slowly but surely pushed air into her small lungs. A quick palpation of her wrist and it was confirmed another victim had fallen to death’s scythe.
There I was still standing wondering was this event I just saw real. I genuinely to this day can’t explain the emotions one goes through when witnessing death.
All I can say is those feelings entrench our memories of how fleeting we are and how vital it is to take a breath, you don’t know when it could be your last.
Guest writer: Kamau Gachegu
Soli Dei Gloria. Share this post with your family and friends😊
My patient has died
My patient has died. This is a statement I have heard too often. A statement I too have said, countless times.
My previous post was on lessons to learn from death, and yet I begin another series on death.
'Wow Mueni , morbid much?'
Okay, let me explain myself.
See nobody really prepared us for this when we got into medical school. An environment of great highs and great lows; restoration of health and saddening deaths, patients walking out of hospital while others wheeled off to the mortuary.
Well, maybe they did, since hospitals are known to have an aura of death lingering in their corridors, amidst desensitized health professionals that find death 'almost' normal.
Almost normal, not to say they have hardened hearts but to say that they see the face of death so often that it doesn't terrify them as much as time goes by. However, to many, their reaction may seem cold.
"How can you act so normal and yet my loved one has died? Do you really feel my pain?"
Well, I am here to say we feel it, we are human after all. Being a medical student, I cannot say that 'my' patient died. Simply because there is a long chain of people handling the patient before they get to me. From the consultant, to the resident, to the nurses in charge, the nutritionist... Then somewhere down the line, to the medical student . Who probably clerked and examined them and tried to follow up on their management as far as they could.
Regardless of where you are in that long chain, I must say, death still hits you. From what I've observed with a few years of being in the wards, dealing with death as a medic doesn't get easier. I guess everyone just picks up their own coping mechanisms as they go. (Cue alcoholism that's rampant among medical professionals, but that's a story for another day.)
What prompted me to begin this series you ask?
Well, in my second week at the New Born Unit during my paediatric rotation in 5th year, my group moved from the room with almost discharged babies (by that I mean those who were getting better) to those in critical condition in the Newborn HDU( High Dependancy Unit.)
It was a drastic change since we moved from a room full of crying babies(and boy didn't they cry when hungry😅) to a room where the loudest sounds were those of the ventilation machines and monitors. I could only imagine the emotional toll it took on new mothers seeing their children in those cots and incubators, some as young as 28 weeks preterm.
We were assigned the task of daily updating the babies' files with a summary of their progress. We then divided the cots amongst ourselves and got to work.
I had about 3 cots to handle, so I went around to check on the babies names so that I could get their files and start on my work.
Cot number one was okay: the baby was in respiratory distress and on a CPAP(Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine to help them breathe. The baby looked stable and so I moved on to cot number 2.
In it was a baby with congenital hydrocephalus( in lay terms, fluid buildup within the brain). I had handled a similar baby before in the previous room, so I wasn't as shocked about it. Although I noted that the baby was pale and didn't make any spontaneous movements. I didn't take too much notice of this and moved on to cot 3.
A few minutes later though , I overheard the residents saying "Yeah, they're going to come and collect the body."
I wondered , "Which one? I hadn't seen any dead baby as I went round the cots."
"Which baby?" I asked the residents.
"The one with hydrocephalus."
Thoughts racing. You mean to tell me that the baby I saw a few minutes ago was already dead?
Waiiit..
Surely not...
That's when it hit me.
Baby was pale.
Baby wasn't moving.
Baby was fully swaddled.
My patient had died.
Regardless of the fact that I had not yet fully interacted with that baby, I felt it. The shock that accompanies death still hit me.
I'd love to share similar stories with you.
To let you into the mind of a medic in relation to death of a patient.
I'm so grateful for the writers in this series, my friends and classmates, who will narrate personal stories of their encounters with death...How the smell of death hangs around their noses. How the pain of losing someone hangs over their shoulders. How the weight of proper patient care instils fear of doing the wrong thing.
Our idea isn't to make anyone lose hope; there are very many successful stories of treatment that bring great joy to medics.
But the coin doesn't land one side only, and here's a platform to let you into this statement that carries a lot of weight.
Stay tuned every alternate day as I share their stories.
Subscribe to the blog, feel free to interact in comment section and share the posts with others. 😊
Soli Dei Gloria.
Jesus! Why am I so anxious?
"Anxiety is what happens when you have an absolutely ridiculous thought but then you start to believe it." Brianna West
I don't know if that is entirely true about all situations, but I do know there are times my mind chooses the worst case scenario and runs with it as if it were true.
Having gone through a season of great anxiety a while ago (to the point I had physical symptoms like palpitations etc), I initially wondered why I was invited to my class Christian Union (CU) this January to speak on anxiety.
I thought God was playing a joke on me. I later figured, as I prepared for it, that it was a well-timed reminder for me not to be anxious. I hope that as you listen to this sermon, this too will ring out aloud for you.
(PS- I must admit that my favorite part of the sermon was when the congregation sung along to a short rap I'd written concerning "anxiety situations" that may crop up in life, whether in family, school, etc. I'll definitely add the lyrics down below for you to rap along when the time comes! )
https://soundcloud.com/joy-mueni-muli/anxiety-sermon-by-joy-mueni-muli
" Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
Turn your eyes to Jesus rap:
(PS- It was tailored to medical students, but feel free to insert things in your scope of life! After each line, repeat the line "Turn your eyes to Jesus, to Jesus" )
The consultant comes and grills you badly, (R) Turn your eyes to Jesus, to Jesus
Torn between sleeping and reading, (R)
Forgot your logbook and its due for signing (R)
When your mama's shouting coz your room's untidy (R)
and your dad is drunk and misbehaving (R)
and your family seems to have so much drama (R)
and your siblings are making you question your genes (R)
When nani tells nani your issues and it becomes a gossip story (R)
and your friends they roast you all the time, mara mapengo mara nini (R)
and the boyfriend /girlfriend is nowhere in site, yet the clocking is ticking(R)
na mablueticks mob unakula mbaya (R)
and your hair aint growing and you don't look like your glowing (R)
Brathe, they call you skinny weeny and yet kila siku unaenda gym (R)
Basically in every little situation, every little situation (R)
Don't be anxious about anything! (R)
(Insert any 3 scenarios that cause you anxiety and respond " Turn your eyes to Jesus, to Jesus")
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Soli deo gloria!
Lessons about life, from death
5 things I learnt about life from a morgue: Chronicles of a medical student
As I have done before, here's an audio narration of the blog, for those who like to literally 'hear it from the horses mouth'!
https://soundcloud.com/joy-mueni-muli/lessons-about-life-from-death
(I personally recorded it so, do tell me in the comments if I should keep on doing it.😉)
For the readers, do proceed...
Quite the ironical statement huh? Learning about life from a morgue.
Being around dead bodies isn't the best experience I must say. It, however, is something medics go through quite frequently. Not only in the wards, but in emergency casualty settings and for students in particular, while in the Anatomy and Pathology units.
Pathology happened to be among my last rotations in my 4th year of medical school and boy wasn't I glad! I needed time to build morale for going to the morgue.
Yes, I had been around cadavers in first year, but this time, things felt different. There's something about a morgue where different bodies come in each day versus an anatomy lab, where every group is assigned one body for the entire year.
Also, back then we were green, learning about muscles and all...so I don't think it hit me then as much as now. Another irony.
Oh well, some of my friends who had started with the Pathology rotation came back with gory stories. Stories told over and over again, I wondered whether it was cathartic or whether they retold them for the mere reason of seeing me squirm in my seat each time. The grimace on my face was a grim visual of how I really felt.
"They remove the inner organs ruthlessly;they grab the trachea and pull out all the insides."
"The sound they make when they crack open the skull, kkk! If that doesn't scare you!"
The worst one, in my opinion, was..
"You know they usually stuff back the organs in no particular order."
"Wait, you mean they don't arrange them back into the body ?
" Nope. The brain is shoved back in the abdomen with everything else."
"Gosh! Must we really go to the morgue?" I asked.
I'd never postponed something like I did entering the morgue. This time, I wasn't trying to be the ambitious student who went and studied ahead. Nope. This time I waited until it was inevitable.
My day did come, of course. And I tried to be as brave as possible. I, for one, knew that I had to be with someone while entering the morgue. Thankfully, we got in as an entire class, so I wasn't alone. Praise God!
Besides the fact that I wasn't doing this alone, I was comforted that I wasn't the only one who had these feelings. The gentle reassurance I received from the classmates in my rotation was heart-warming.
We found more than 5 bodies awaiting autopsies. I had been in a room full of dead bodies in anatomy, as I said, but this time it was different. These people had just recently died. Their blood was still fresh. Some having died in accidents and had their skulls crushed...hmmm...
Amidst all this, my mind was a storm. A flood of many puzzling questions:
"How is it that one minute you could be walking, breathing, talking and the next, your heart stops beating, your brain stops thinking and you're gone?"
"Does life really amount to this? "
"Why such painful death? "
"Are they really dead? That guy looks like he's just sleeping."
These and many more questions rung in my mind for the entire 2 weeks while at the morgue. I then purposed to share a few things I learnt about life, while there so here it goes.
1.Our bodies are vessels.
Looking at the bodies lying there, I knew that these muscles, bones, hair, faces..these bodies we have are just a container for our souls and spirits. I finally understood the analogy of the body being a vessel.
Because, as the postmortems went on, it boiled down to so and so's liver, heart& brain weigh this, this & that... Just organs. And everyone had those. Some bigger/smaller than others depending on the body size, but eventually, those people were more than just their organs.
I can't look at those organs and say 'these organs put together' is person X. Nope. Person X's spirit is no longer there. Their body was just a vessel for them while they were here on earth.
2. Life begins at conception.
Seeing a foetus in the womb of their mother was one of the most heartbreaking moments.
Seeing the forming limbs, face and body after cutting open the womb, checking for the placenta attachment and measuring the foetus' weight...
That, guys, was evidence to me that life begins at conception. The life lost wasn't only the mother's. There were two lives lost.
3. There are many questions we may never receive an answer to, and that's fine.
The cause of death in a postmortem isn't really 'this patient was stabbed by her boyfriend' or ' he was hit while crossing the road'. Pathologists search for the real reason they died. For example, they had an MI( heart attack), broken ribs following trauma, brain herniation after bleeding etc. And the answers may not always be found.
Now, when the postgraduate was doing a postmortem on the pregnant lady , we searched and searched for what could have caused the death since her history was so sudden.
She'd gone to the hospital complaining of abdominal pains and died while at casualty. We didn't find anything grossly wrong and so we had to take tissue for histology to observe further.
I bet the relatives must have wondered;
"Huh? What do you mean no answer yet?"
Well, I guess the same thing could be said about so many life situations. No answers to what seems like never ending questions.
I'll never forget this verse my high school Chemistry teacher gave us when we had many questions concerning the death of a classmate.
"There are some things that the LORD our God has kept secret; but he has revealed his Law, and we and our descendants are to obey it forever." Deuteronomy 29:29 (NIV)
4. Human life is like a vapour in the wind.
A child playing with friends is run over by a car. Dies immediately .
A pregnant lady complains of abdominal pains. Dies while at casualty.
On and on the stories go...
I wonder how pathologists do it. Being around death all day isn't funny. One day, I got home, opened Ecclesiastes on audio Bible and listened to it. This is the book in the Bible that I'd thought was a bit 'too morbid', but trust me, it seemed like the only appropriate thing then.
Ecclesiastes 1:2 The Voice (VOICE)
Teacher: Life is fleeting, like a passing mist.
It is like trying to catch hold of a breath;
All vanishes like a vapor; everything is a great vanity.Ecclesiastes 12:8 The Voice (VOICE)
Life is fleeting; it just slips through your fingers. All vanishes like mist.
One minute here. The next minute gone. It all made sense now.
That leads me to my last lesson/reminder...
5. Appreciate life.
Your own, and that of those around you, while they're still around. Having lost a close friend last year, I know this all too well. Treasured moments with her, I hold so dear.
I examined my life and wondered why I would spend precious moments in bitterness, anger, fear, vanity...(You know those things yeah? Enhe.. Add to the list...)
That's precious life time spent on what is absolutely unnecessary! I'd rather love, laugh and live! (hmmm.. if only I knew what this really meant when I put it as my Instagram Bio @muenimuli)
But guys, isn't this always our resolve when we go to funerals?
When faced with death, I think the true human response to life is seen. Where we prioritize the basics.But when busyness takes over, we go back into the same cycle of, in a friend's words "majoring on the minors and minoring on the majors."
That's basically what Ecclesiastes is all about btw (so I figured). Solomon had it all (I mean, let's not even discuss this😂) , and had tried everything, but when he left God out of the equation, nothing satisfied him.
There is purpose in life, and it is found in knowing God and keeping His commands. That’s why he ended his book in this way:
“Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind†Ecclesiastes 12:13 (NIV)
A human life lived to the exclusion of any consideration of God is meaningless.
What lessons have you learnt about life, through death? Either of a loved one, family member, friend or witnessing one happening... Do share it in the comments. I'll be waiting to hear from you, my dear reader.😊
Also, feel free to share this blogpost. I'm sure there are people in your life whom you have had this conversation about death with(as morbid as it is).
Ps- Do check out this video by the Bible project! They did a great job at explaining our fleeting life, according to Ecclesiastes.
https://youtu.be/lrsQ1tc-2wk
Grace and peace!
The caged bird still sings
Born to sing,
Sweet melodies from on high
A dazzling dash of colour upon her feathers
Tunes coloured with melodic rhythms
.
But inside a cage she sits
Misunderstood by those who own her
Who don't see the beauty of her song
And cage her to act as the domestic chicken, to roam
.
Constrained and frustrated
Her lack of freedom has left her paralysed
She longs for a day she can sing, unrestrained by the echo of captivity
.
Was I really born to sing?
Am I really good enough?
Such are the questions that plague her mind
Questioning her entire existence
.
But the caged bird has hope
That one day she shall sing
Melodies unto heaven
Of the freedom that He brings
.
Maybe she'll never leave the cage
But tunes of freedom shall she belt out
As in her mind she is free
So she must do what she was created to be
.
I now know why the caged bird still sings.
Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.Galatians 5:1(MSG)
Don't forget to pause #ArtWeekSeries
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.â€Â These are words from Van Goethe; a German poet, novelist and playwright.
I remember when I was young, we lived next to these two guys; I think they were brothers (never got the guts to ask how they were related). I really looked up to these two guys. They were painters and did that for a living. Every single day I came from school, I would find that they had put their art paintings outside their doorway so that they could dry. These paintings were INCREDIBLE; from the detail, to the emotion they evoked. I didn’t just want to grow up to be like them, I wanted to be them (they also had dreads and I had vowed when I grew up I would have the similar ones, even longer , it never came to pass though, I don’t think it ever will. :D )
Art in itself is beauty, God is beautiful. When you look at the marvels of creation from the Milky Way, (at times described as a band of light seen in the night sky formed from stars that cannot be individually distinguished by the naked eye) 100,000 light years in size; all that is just a glimpse of His creation.
"We often get tangled up on life’s cycles that we forget to pause. Pause to see the beauty and miracles around us, from the smile of a newborn baby, to that amazing cup of coffee that just somehow helps kick starts your day, from that morning sunrise to the beauty of the twinkling of stars in the night."
To wrap this up for now, here’s a parting shot, some little poetry by Jefferson Bethke.
Be blessed and don’t forget to pause.
  The greatest artist of all time;             Â
  A guy came up to me the other night right
And he was like, "Who's your favorite artist?"
And like most people do when they ask a question
He didn't really care about my answer
And proceeded to tell me what he thought the true answer was
And he continued about his struggle to recognize
Who he said was the greatest of all time
He said "I mean is it Shakespeare, is it Frost, Picasso, Michelangelo, Is it the Beatles, Rembrandt, Michael Jackson, Beethoven?"
And he went on and on and on about who he thought was the greatest.
Not recognizing that even his infrastructure to answer that question was mislead and outdated
And so finally I kindly smile and said Ok, sir, you asked me who is the greatest of all time
Now you tried to share yours, so let me share mine because there's no debate about
Who is the greatest cause all those other artists you mentioned,
yeah, The greatest made 'em
And see this artist he's a beast, a lion, the name above names.
You don't even realize it but you encounter his art every day
And he deserves all of the acclaim. He deserves all of the fame.
Cause all other artists pass away but He remains
Oh, by the way, his name is God Yahweh, Creator, Your Maker
He's infinitely creative, sir there is no one greater
And I can tell it looks like you're starting to get mad at me
But don't be jealous just 'cause your favorite artist might bend words. My favorite artist bends galaxies
See in the palm of his hand he holds all the sand
The author of life when he whispered, "Let us make man."
See what if I told you that you are God's poetry
You were created because someone else was creative
See long ago he picked up his eternal paint brush dipped it in his glory
Placed us in his story and said, "They will live for me."
And I know it sounds outland-ish but we're not the product of random chances
And, in fact, we're not even the vine. We're actually the branches.
In the same way we're not the artists. We're actually the canvas.
Because in an instant God started to make art.
Shaped you uniquely and beautiful. Individual from the start.
And he touched the canvas of flesh and said, "This one is better than the rest.
I'll give him so much of my image So even when they're hot off the press, you can still see the steam of my breath."
And so he crafted and he made every arm and leg.
Ligaments, tendons, muscles, blood vessels, veins, arteries.
He said, " They're gonna have a part of me"
And about that time the guy butted back in and said, "That sounds good n' all, but I’m wretched and filthy. God won't use me, will he?"
And I said, Ah see that's what's awesome about God. No matter what we've done, he can still use us.
Even though other artists, once they have broken equipment, They start to make excuses.
God instead doesn't refuse us and neither does he accuse us. He redeems us in Jesus. Promises never to lose us.
So stop saying' that your dirt. Stop saying' your scum of the Earth.
You ought to be careful about how you talk about someone else’s work.
Because if we've trusted in Jesus, we can stop saying we're filthy.
I mean all that is anyways is just pride clothed in false humility.
I mean if we only believed that we're truthfully created in his likeness,
Then we'd stop sayin' we're wretched, filthy, shameful, and guilty.
But instead knowing if we've trusted Jesus, we're righteous.
I mean don't you see we're drawn to repentance because of his kindness.
So how dare you call yourself worthless when he says you’re priceless?
But see the best part is since God is ultimately for God, he'll get glory out of you ,whether you like it or not
Because even temple ruins point to an architect. Even if the temple is shot.
And all I’m saying is that he's behind it all.
So why do we insist on giving him no credit at all
I mean he's the one that gave Van Gough the imagination that changed the face of painting.
Tell me who else is responsible for Mozart being able to compose at age 5 without Form of training.
See he made the fingers that Beethoven used to make art on the keys.
For Pete’s sake he made Stevey Wonder, One of the best musicians of our time, and he couldn't even see.
And that's why in the same way that our lives are borrowed time, this poem is borrowed lines.
'Cause the most ridiculous statement we could ever say is that this poem is mine.
Because we're not self-sustaining, no, we're not self-creating.
Technically nothing we do is original. We're just imitating and that's not a dis'.
All I’m trying to say is this. Even our own creativity is nothing more than an out-flow of his.
And so, I’ll end with this. You know that quote about giving credit where credit is due? Well if that's true, it's about time we give God his rightful credit too.
'Cause he's a god in the business of making all things new...
and here's the truth, He's not through with making a masterpiece of you.
Duncan Kahwai graced us with this meditative piece to end the series. He's a scientist-creative too, acing as an amazing artist(his drawings are beautiful) and a medical student as well.
Hoping you were blessed by this series. Feel free to come back here any time you've forgotten that you are creative, because YOU ARE CREATIVE. Do share this with others so that they too are enlightened; plus don't forget to subscribe to the blog so that you get regular updates. :)
Soli deo gloria.
The Architectural Artist #ArtWeek
Viva is the perfect example of a lady with a gentle and quiet spirit. I admired her from a distance before we actually got to interact and anytime I looked at her paintings, I was blown away. The best thing about it, is that she is so bold about her art being from God. Behind-the-scenes, as she recently shared, her art is inspired by worship music and devotionals.
If that isn't true outflow of creativity from God, I don't know what it is. She's a stunning beauty as well. And you know me, I'm a bit biased with fellow naturalistas; her mane is gorgeous!
You can see more of her artwork at https://lavidanilla.wordpress.com/.Â
Science and art have always been a part of me from a very young age. I came to explore these fields later on after high school, and joining architecture school in the University of Nairobi intensified the passion.Â
See, architecture is the balanced integration of artistic sensibility and scientific methodology as it applies to designing buildings and their environments, it is the art and science of designing buildings and other structures.
So in layman's terms it is the integration of both art and science. Now you know why I picked it, I thought I would have it easy in campus as I loved both of them; but it is not as simple as it sounds.Â
First year is the most “artistic†year of architecture school. It is where one taps into their creativity and you are forced to think out of the box but with certain constraints such as theme, principles and concepts that will govern your ideas. That to me is not the art I knew, this is because art has little to no constraints.
Anything can be seen as being a piece of art according to one's perspective; this does not apply to architecture.
Most of the time art caters for the artist’s needs first and the viewer comes second; it is more personal, but for architecture, the clients’ preferences and needs come first. Apart from clients’ needs, other factors such as practicality and functionality can also constrain ones creativity in architecture. This was a struggle for me as an artist.
As a Christian, I deem God to be various things, a creative, a scientist, an artist, a judge, a ruler, and in my case, an architect. The universe was created by God by word of mouth and we were specially created in His image. This is how God is an architect to me, through Creation; bringing something into existence from a simple concept to something one can see with physical eyes.
God definitely loves order; judging from the way He created the universe. There was an order of some sort through which He used. Like say, for example, He made light before anything else, and He made plants before the animals so that they wouldn't starve, and He saved best for last when He made man on the last day.
This is basically how architects create/come up with their projects; in a systematic order with various steps that culminate to a master piece.
Borrowing majorly from God the architect of the universe, I later on got a hang of it. Understanding the methodology applied in architecture has greatly influenced how I do my artwork nowadays. From problem definition/ brief formulation, to research and analysis, to conceptualization, to schematic design and to the final/ detailed design; these are the basic steps one takes to fulfilling a project, which I have also applied in art. Â
This has made my pieces and the process of making them more meaningful; and thus making my pieces more relatable and able to evoke emotions.
When the artist gets to understand the story behind the piece (brief formulation and research), the process of attaining the final piece (conceptualization and schematics), and finally coming up with the master piece (final/ detailed design), not only is He able to fulfill the viewer’s needs but also his needs; and that's when one is able to make art humane.
Now when I decided to put God into the picture, it made a huge impact on how I viewed art and architecture. He is not only my source of inspiration as before but also the drive and motivator, the giver of ideas.
I became a vessel through which God can speak. To say the least, it is an honour to be one; because I get to learn more and more about Him and myself through art and architecture, at the same time, I get to tell others about God through the same means.
Before I would draw just draw anything that would interest me. It is not simple, because I have to completely rely on God now, for ideas; which require a lot of patience to hear His voice and also a lot of Bible reading to understand what God really wants me to do.
Despite the struggles, the process is fulfilling when the piece is complete and the blog has been posted. That’s when you feel you’re fulfilling the true purpose that God created you for in this life; when you combine God, Science and Art.
The Model Doctor -Part 2 #ArtWeek
So today we shake things up as our Model Doctor, Mary Gitau, who was featured on the previous post, extended an invitation to her artist friend, Daniel Muraba.
She interviewed him on the same topic of Art, Creativity and Creativity. This will be my shortest post ever, but very impactful nonetheless.Â
(Dear millennials, are the audios helping?😂)
The Model Doctor #ArtWeekSeries
Today's scientist-creative is a dear friend of mine. Having both grown up as first-born girls in a family of boys, we have a lot in common. So it wasn't surprising that we bonded easily in med school; over crazy experiences in the wards, times when our hope was dwindling and good times as well!
She is resolute in her Christianity and I'm honored to be present in her life as God unfolds His plans for her. When He called her to be a model, I was super excited! Her dedication was evident and it paid off as she was crowned Miss Chiromo that year.
Carrying herself with grace and poise, she shines His light brightly, even in an area of art that many Christians are wary of. Modelling. Perfect definition of beauty both inside and outside!
Speaking of which, isn't her hair just goals? :)
"A creative? Are you kidding me?"
I know it might come as a shocker to many people( ok, maybe not so many) but I basically spent the better part of my young life having such thoughts govern my mind. And to some extent, I still struggle with that. Consolidating just this one piece of writing was such a hustle that I had actually given up. Thank God for patient and insistent Joy Mueni who did not allow me to back out. And so, here I am, sharing the little I know.
I grew up in a rather good household with an amazing family, something I don't take for granted. But somehow, in all of it, I embraced the idea that creativity and I were not compatible.
And so it was. I was satisfied with being a doctor for the rest of my life( well, this has its own story) and suffering the 'reality' that I was boring and could not possibly have any creativity.
In fact, this mentality crippled even my interaction with people, especially dudes. Yeeaahh, my high school life stunk. I wasn't those creative girls with exquisite handwriting and an amazing sense of calligraphy, writing poetry to their dear beloved boyfriends in our brother school.
Nope! I was the bookworm, hiding behind the veil of serious, to cover up for my own limiting idea of how non-creative I was. And sure, I would be the best in academics. That would certainly compensate some honour for my boring, little non-creative self!
Well, you might have figured this out... It didn't. I was the best, consecutively, but I was suffering. I was not letting the full me come out. I eventually cleared high school and the dilemma was clearly evident.
How does life move on, when you have no creativity of your own to start a conversation, decide on your fashion sense or even just be you?
Of course that meant a whole lot of tough lessons on self-confidence, embracing myself and loving on me, even on my what-I-deemed-non-creative self. Slowly my creative self started coming out... And that was a shocker.
"Kumbe, I could also be creative" is what I remember exclaiming to myself when someone would compliment my fashion sense or when someone would laugh at my avid and talkative story telling moments :) Oh, how liberating it feels to be myself.. (Imagines that she has her eyes closed and her imaginary long hair is being whipped around by the wind as she stands on the sea shore! I wish I had a picture but that will suffice, won't it? :)Â )
Some pointers for what I am continually learning;
(PS: I'm no guru in this area but this is what I have to share from my personal experience.)
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God created us to all be creatives:
It is a lie from the pits of hell that you are not creative. It might be in the smallest of things but there is creativity still expressed. It most definitely differs with the talents and practice put into the area of creativity but there is a basic minimum level of creativity. I guess that's why we were all forced to create compositions and insha's in primary (I loathed both oh so very dearly...who else did?)
2. Creativity is an expression of who you are from within and so it's unique:
It's hardly copying what another person is doing and mainly trying to find a way to express your inward self (which might be in a way similar to someone else's) . This calls for a degree of self-acceptance and self-love; to allow yourself to produce a creative product regardless of other people's critique. Also trying and realising what you enjoy creating/doing and what you don't is part of the process. Allow yourself a period of self-discovery!
3. There are many untapped ways of being creative.
I recently learnt of Art Therapy! Had you ever known of anything like it? Well;
Art Therapy~ a form of expressive therapy involving the encouragement of free self-expression through painting, drawing, or modelling, used as a remedial or diagnostic activity. The creative process of making art is used to improve a person's physical, mental and emotional well-being.
Would you look at that! Killing two birds( bird of creation and bird of psychotherapy) with one stone.
There's more than one way of expressing yourself... painting, drawing, modelling, cooking, knitting, swimming, singing, story-telling, writing, making different bed designs, cloth hanging, house decor, ironing...Gosh, the list is endless (and I'm sure I've left out many more. Kindly comment below other creative endeavours. I'll sure give it a try!) Now all that is left is for you to find your fit!
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4. Creativity is supposed to be fun.
And it is fun. Well not all the time, especially when trying to learn the skill or improve the skill. Most especially when it's your source of income. It sure doesn't feel like fun all the time but it shouldn't not be fun. This takes me to the next point.
5. An enemy of fun is pressure from either yourself or society where standard and quality is concerned.
Of course, no one wants to be sub-standard, but laying pressure upon yourself only works to reduce the quality and fun of the process. Yes, it's not easy but it's a balance we all need to attain. Take a step at a time perfecting the creativity that you draw from within. It surely takes time and most certainly few value creativity that is not perfect but soon enough it will be good enough. :)
6. Comparison Kills!
It's a song by Jonathan McReynolds (and that's how you pitch for your favourite musician). And it's true. It kills. Take time off social media, away from people and get to hear what you want to say without having to wonder if it is like theirs. Kill comparison before it kills you. :)
I am Mary Gitau, a 4th year medical student at the University of Nairobi. I am a growing creative with my main interests being fashion, modelling, crocheting and music. I have a sweet tooth so you'll never go wrong with ice-cream or Cadbury chocolate(a shameless plugin for my birthday that passed, but every day is a day to celebrate others. ;) )I really love God and hope to be a true Christian daily.
Guys, isn't she lovely! Which of the points that she shared has resonated the most with you? Do tell in the comments. While you are at it, watch this video of Mary's modelling so far . :)
The Dancing Biochemist #ArtWeekSeries
I first met today's scientist-creative at a financial literacy class for campus students. She is a bubbly and intelligent lady and I noticed this especially when we were given a group-task to come up with a business idea in such a short time. Her ideas were intriguing and we eventually chose one of them to present as a group...and greater so is her story. I admire her dedication to her art and I'm so glad I get to share her story here. (PS- I know I'm not the only one stunned by her dance outfits! They are simply breathtaking! )
You can find more of Njoki on www.thedancingbiochemist.com and her social media pages as The Dancing Biochemist. FB IG
Hello, my name is Njoki Wairua but I am also popularly known as 'The Dancing Biochemist.' I am a professional dancer and a biochemist. I am vast in ballet, jazz dance and hip hop dance, more specifically break dance. I recently completed my undergraduate studies with a major in Medical Biochemistry.
For the longest time, I felt the need to constantly explain myself as to why I chose to study biochemistry while still pursuing a career as a professional dancer. Comments such as "Biochemistry is so hard, why not study a bachelor of arts", " Are you sure you're a scientist?" and "Why not drop the dancing and simply focus on biochemistry?"Â were all too common and it bothered me at first. So much so that I would take the time out to explain to all these people who seemed to have such strong opinions on my career choices, that in fact, I could do it all. Needless to say, very few were convinced and I would end up frustrated, distraught and sometimes in doubt about my choices.Â
I eventually chose to ignore what people thought and said, and simply worked on myself; my dancing and my studies. Soon I saw results. I was excelling both academically and in my dance career. This brought on more support from those very people who had strongly discouraged me to pursue both the arts and science. It was a relief of course but I thought it quite unfortunate as they only validated my hard work once they deemed it 'okay' according to their standards. This realization further reinforced what I had slowly come to learn, 'do you and march to the beat of your own drum! Otherwise, you'll drown trying to please the world!'
Fast forward to today and I can confidently speak these words without second-guessing myself, 'Hi, my name is Njoki Wairua, I am The Dancing Biochemist, and I am slaying at both my careers!'
Show Case of my art
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How art has built my Christian Faith
Throughout my dance journey, I have seen first hand, God's grace and abundance in blessings. When I first decided to take the steps to becoming a professional dancer, I never imagined I would accomplish some of the great feats I have thus far. From appearing in newspapers, magazines and even BBC to being a brand ambassador for my previous performing arts school, not to mention winning Sondeka Awards 2018 in the dance category. All these accolades are for me proof that God indeed walks with me in my dance journey.Â
Besides all the good, I have faced quite a few challenges as well. From racism to literally being laughed at for pursuing a dance career. God has given me the strength to keep going even when I felt like giving up. I have felt God's presence and comfort every step of the way! And as I have kept going, better opportunities have come my way and I have had the chance to embrace them. God gave me my talent and I am making the most of it as my gift back to Him.
Advise to anyone wishing to join the arts as a scientist
Just do it! Forget what the society expects of you, simply follow your heart! I found that pursuing a career in dance while simultaneously pursuing my biochemistry studies helped me balance off the pressure that comes with sciences. Biochemistry is a pretty tough course and I often needed to blow off some steam. Dance gave me the opportunity to do that!
What Njoki has shared resonates with many, including myself. For so long I felt I had to choose one or the other. Question being, is art a science or is science an art? Sounds a lot like the chicken and the egg question huh? Well, here's what Raysam had to say about it;
" I was checking out the difference between "science" and "art". I guess the key terms that stood out for me are "understanding vs skill". The end game or final result gives the stark difference. On one end you basically ask a lot of questions and discover to know. On the other end you know in order to use practically.
 I can rephrase that to mean:
On one hand you have discovery as the objective; while on the other hand you have practical solutions to an existing challenge/problem as the objective. Or rather "discovery vs application".Then it makes sense why research and experimentation are so crucial in the scientific world. Â
And why experience is so crucial in the art world.
Though of course there's a thin line between the two terms that can easily be crossed.
I think there's truth in both statements. Science is an art and art is a science. The art science and the science of art. "
I've have literally reported verbatim what he said and would love to hear if you hold similar or contrary sentiments. Go on and share your opinion in the comments section so that we can try figure this out together!
PS- Don't forget that tomorrow morning, they'll be another interesting story I'll share. I'd advice you to subscribe/follow the blog so that you don't miss out on any new posts!
Soli deo Gloria.