He-motions
Audio reading of the blogpost for those who prefer listening in than reading.
https://soundcloud.com/joy-mueni-muli/he-motions-m4a
Men are emotional.
This past week, this statement has been ringing in my mind, following a series of events and conversations that reminded me that indeed, men are emotional beings. I don’t know why it always comes as a surprise to me though. Perhaps the cultural association that emotions are for the ‘weak’.
Well, I should have known by now that behind the beards, chiseled faces and muscular frames, lie hearts of flesh. Hearts that feel. Besides, isn’t it human to feel? Perhaps years of conditioning men not to show their emotions has made us have a false notion that they HAVE no emotions. Therein lies the problem.
I have seen the detrimental effects of denying this truth and teaching men to suppress their emotions and “kukaa ngumuâ€, that is, to stay strong. Those stories need no retelling. So today, I choose to share a a short story of an encounter I had with two men that reiterated the fact to me; men are emotional.
The tale of the first man;
“We will first see this patient before having our discussion on club foot,†said Martin*(name changed for confidentiality) our teacher for the day. The club foot clinic that happens every Thursday at KNH attracts patients from far and wide, seeking help for this foot deformity associated with a lot of stigma. As the parents walked in, holding a swaddled baby, I noticed that the father was the one carrying the baby.
Hmmm…Interesting.
Martin gave us a brief of the patient’s history and progress so far. The baby was 2 weeks old and was going to have the first of the serial casts needed to correct the bilateral club foot fitted that day at the clinic. Once Martin set-up the Plaster of Paris, water and the other necessary materials, he beckoned to the father to have a seat as he fit the casts on the baby’s feet, which would be changed after 1 week.
“Aaaw! Look. The father is the one carrying the baby,†whispered my friend who was seated next to me.
“I know right!†Trust me when I tell you that it was a sight to behold. Rare it is to see a father accompany the mother to bring the child to hospital, more so to see the father carrying the baby! Wow!
The tale of the second man;
Once the casts were moulded properly, Martin directed the couple to the waiting lounge to let the plaster dry up and receive further instructions. He then went on to give us a short tutorial on club foot; the pathophysiology, treatment protocol and holistic management. During the teaching, he kept repeating the statement ‘club foot treatment needs to carried out in a kind and sensitive manner.’
Kind and sensitive manner. Kind and sensitive manner.
I’m not sure why this stood out to me, but a public acknowledgement of sensitivity by a man was definitely worth noting.
Lest I belabour the point, Martin sealed the deal by picking up a phone call from his father during the tutorial. As he excused himself and walked out to have the conversation, we overheard him greet his father and say “Hello dad. I miss you!â€
Tire screeching sounds*
Hold up! What did I just hear?
Did I just hear a man say I miss you, to his father?
My friend and I looked at each other and you could tell in our eyes that we were stunned. I joked that we were probably in our feels that day to have noticed all these things happening, but she confirmed that it definitely stood out, because of the rarity of such things in our day to day.
“It’s the emotions for me!â€
A tale of two men. I had to keep record of this encounter at this club foot clinic here on my blog, and perhaps use it as a starting point for a conversation on emotions among men. I’m curious, have you been at a place where seeing a man show emotions genuinely shocked/amazed you? Please do share your stories in the comments section. Let’s keep this conversation going.
Soli deo gloria!
Don't forget to pause #ArtWeekSeries
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.â€Â These are words from Van Goethe; a German poet, novelist and playwright.
I remember when I was young, we lived next to these two guys; I think they were brothers (never got the guts to ask how they were related). I really looked up to these two guys. They were painters and did that for a living. Every single day I came from school, I would find that they had put their art paintings outside their doorway so that they could dry. These paintings were INCREDIBLE; from the detail, to the emotion they evoked. I didn’t just want to grow up to be like them, I wanted to be them (they also had dreads and I had vowed when I grew up I would have the similar ones, even longer , it never came to pass though, I don’t think it ever will. :D )
Art in itself is beauty, God is beautiful. When you look at the marvels of creation from the Milky Way, (at times described as a band of light seen in the night sky formed from stars that cannot be individually distinguished by the naked eye) 100,000 light years in size; all that is just a glimpse of His creation.
"We often get tangled up on life’s cycles that we forget to pause. Pause to see the beauty and miracles around us, from the smile of a newborn baby, to that amazing cup of coffee that just somehow helps kick starts your day, from that morning sunrise to the beauty of the twinkling of stars in the night."
To wrap this up for now, here’s a parting shot, some little poetry by Jefferson Bethke.
Be blessed and don’t forget to pause.
  The greatest artist of all time;             Â
  A guy came up to me the other night right
And he was like, "Who's your favorite artist?"
And like most people do when they ask a question
He didn't really care about my answer
And proceeded to tell me what he thought the true answer was
And he continued about his struggle to recognize
Who he said was the greatest of all time
He said "I mean is it Shakespeare, is it Frost, Picasso, Michelangelo, Is it the Beatles, Rembrandt, Michael Jackson, Beethoven?"
And he went on and on and on about who he thought was the greatest.
Not recognizing that even his infrastructure to answer that question was mislead and outdated
And so finally I kindly smile and said Ok, sir, you asked me who is the greatest of all time
Now you tried to share yours, so let me share mine because there's no debate about
Who is the greatest cause all those other artists you mentioned,
yeah, The greatest made 'em
And see this artist he's a beast, a lion, the name above names.
You don't even realize it but you encounter his art every day
And he deserves all of the acclaim. He deserves all of the fame.
Cause all other artists pass away but He remains
Oh, by the way, his name is God Yahweh, Creator, Your Maker
He's infinitely creative, sir there is no one greater
And I can tell it looks like you're starting to get mad at me
But don't be jealous just 'cause your favorite artist might bend words. My favorite artist bends galaxies
See in the palm of his hand he holds all the sand
The author of life when he whispered, "Let us make man."
See what if I told you that you are God's poetry
You were created because someone else was creative
See long ago he picked up his eternal paint brush dipped it in his glory
Placed us in his story and said, "They will live for me."
And I know it sounds outland-ish but we're not the product of random chances
And, in fact, we're not even the vine. We're actually the branches.
In the same way we're not the artists. We're actually the canvas.
Because in an instant God started to make art.
Shaped you uniquely and beautiful. Individual from the start.
And he touched the canvas of flesh and said, "This one is better than the rest.
I'll give him so much of my image So even when they're hot off the press, you can still see the steam of my breath."
And so he crafted and he made every arm and leg.
Ligaments, tendons, muscles, blood vessels, veins, arteries.
He said, " They're gonna have a part of me"
And about that time the guy butted back in and said, "That sounds good n' all, but I’m wretched and filthy. God won't use me, will he?"
And I said, Ah see that's what's awesome about God. No matter what we've done, he can still use us.
Even though other artists, once they have broken equipment, They start to make excuses.
God instead doesn't refuse us and neither does he accuse us. He redeems us in Jesus. Promises never to lose us.
So stop saying' that your dirt. Stop saying' your scum of the Earth.
You ought to be careful about how you talk about someone else’s work.
Because if we've trusted in Jesus, we can stop saying we're filthy.
I mean all that is anyways is just pride clothed in false humility.
I mean if we only believed that we're truthfully created in his likeness,
Then we'd stop sayin' we're wretched, filthy, shameful, and guilty.
But instead knowing if we've trusted Jesus, we're righteous.
I mean don't you see we're drawn to repentance because of his kindness.
So how dare you call yourself worthless when he says you’re priceless?
But see the best part is since God is ultimately for God, he'll get glory out of you ,whether you like it or not
Because even temple ruins point to an architect. Even if the temple is shot.
And all I’m saying is that he's behind it all.
So why do we insist on giving him no credit at all
I mean he's the one that gave Van Gough the imagination that changed the face of painting.
Tell me who else is responsible for Mozart being able to compose at age 5 without Form of training.
See he made the fingers that Beethoven used to make art on the keys.
For Pete’s sake he made Stevey Wonder, One of the best musicians of our time, and he couldn't even see.
And that's why in the same way that our lives are borrowed time, this poem is borrowed lines.
'Cause the most ridiculous statement we could ever say is that this poem is mine.
Because we're not self-sustaining, no, we're not self-creating.
Technically nothing we do is original. We're just imitating and that's not a dis'.
All I’m trying to say is this. Even our own creativity is nothing more than an out-flow of his.
And so, I’ll end with this. You know that quote about giving credit where credit is due? Well if that's true, it's about time we give God his rightful credit too.
'Cause he's a god in the business of making all things new...
and here's the truth, He's not through with making a masterpiece of you.
Duncan Kahwai graced us with this meditative piece to end the series. He's a scientist-creative too, acing as an amazing artist(his drawings are beautiful) and a medical student as well.
Hoping you were blessed by this series. Feel free to come back here any time you've forgotten that you are creative, because YOU ARE CREATIVE. Do share this with others so that they too are enlightened; plus don't forget to subscribe to the blog so that you get regular updates. :)
Soli deo gloria.
Culture shock in Tanzania?
Last but not least in the #WhileIwasaway series comes what I enjoyed the most. NEW CULTURE! AIESEC Global Volunteer is a cross-cultural experience for youth who want to gain personal development and leave an impact on the world. There's nothing quite like being in a brand new country, living and volunteering with people from all around. I can really attest to that.
Although Tanzania is just our next door neighbor, there are elements of new culture I experienced while there. Perhaps the different vocabulary; apparently the word ‘stima’ that Kenyans use to mean electricity doesn’t exist in Kiswahili. Its ‘umeme’ guys! But catch a Kenyan saying ‘Umeme umepotea.’ Haha! Rarely so.
Another thing that was new is the greeting culture. People greet each other courteously on the streets, whether or not they know each other. I’m told the same happens in Coastal Kenya but that was definitely new for the Nairobi-bred me. There’s one particular lady who lived a few houses away from us& sold chapati at her verandah every morning. I had no problem greeting her at first occurrence each day, but she insisted that we should greet her each time we passed by her home. Shikamoo more than 5 times a day? To the same person? That was new! But I finally got the hang of it with time since “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.â€
AIESEC Mzumbe organized a Global Village event where we could all showcase our culture. It was an amazing experience!
Learning about Taiwan from Jason, Maggie and Tony was lovely too. First, the English names I have been using to refer to them are just nicknames. Can you imagine? They give themselves these names to avoid the trouble of having to make others pronounce their Chinese names; though I challenged myself to calling them by those names over time and finally got it! And yes, I say Chinese because the languages spoken in Taiwan are both Chinese and the native Taiwanese language (which is mostly spoken by the older generation.) In the hiking video here, Jason taught me the Chinese word for waterfall pu - 瀑 - pù...which was very funny because that word means something quite different in Kiswahili!
If you are wondering where Taiwan is, it is a small island right next to China. Its capital city is Taipei. And guys, I finally got to learn how to tell Asians apart! Haha, well, to a certain degree. They told me of the cultural differences between Japanese, Chinese, Taiwanese and Koreans. Not only by their looks, but also by how they write out their language. Trust me, it’s similar but it’s not all the same!
Remember how I said here that we had taught them how to sing in Kiswahili? Well, I learnt how to sing a Taiwanese welcome song as well. Don’t laugh, it was among my first tries.
Closer home, Serge from Rwanda taught me some Kinyarwanda. I don’t know why I had always assumed that all of Rwanda is French speaking until he told me that they have Anglophone and Francophone regions. I also realized that Kinyarwanda is somewhat similar to Kiswahili; perhaps due to the similar Bantu roots.
So you now how in Kenya if someone calls you "Wee nani" it sounds so rude? Apparently, in Rwanda, it's the total opposite. Serge would call me "Wee Joy Muli" with good intentions, but up until he explained that it is a respectful way of referring to someone in his country, I thought he was being rude! Haha...
Mozambique! Did you know that they speak Portuguese? 'Te amor Senor'. That means 'I love you my Lord.' Sounds amazing huh? Leila was my partner when it came to composing songs as I had narrated here. We had lyrics in Chagana (one of the native Mozambican languages), English, Kiswahili and Portuguese. International music… don’ mess!
Let me tell you guys something random about me. I support Manchester United Football club. “Okay, Joy. How is that even related to what we’re talking about in Mozambique?" Well, remember Christiano Ronaldo? Hehe! I liked how he played (ahem) and that’s kinda how I became a ManU fan. So honestly, he’s the one person that comes to mind whenever I think of Portugal. Random huh? (shout out to the real football fans unlike myself; my brothers and close friends like KB. ) But let me challenge you since you’re probably out there judging me. How many former Portuguese colonies can you name? Mozambique…Angola…are you blank? Haha! At least I'm not alone. So don't judge me with my Mozambique-Portugal -football correlation.Â
(Fun fact- there are only 10 countries in the world that have Portuguese as their official language; Brazil, Mozambique, Angola, Portugal, Guinea-Bissau, East Timor, Equatorial Guinea, Macau, Cape Verde, and São Tomé and PrÃncipe.)
Anyway, another thing I admired about Tanzanians was their unity. Despite having so many tribes, they identify themselves by what region they come from. Each time I asked, “Where are you from?†I’d get answers like “I’m from Mwanza…From Moshi…From Iringaâ€. Rarely did they go by their tribes. Not that they don’t ascribe to a particular tribe, but it isn’t a huge point of differentiation, conflict or a matter to lord over others. This I admire, and hope for the same to happen back home one day. I also got to know tad bits about Ghana, Nigeria, Poland...there was such great cultural diversity within the AIESEC community!
(Photo credits to Maggie, Dennis Damian &Isaac)
There you have it. That’s it for the #WhileIwasaway series.  Hope you enjoyed it and learnt a thing or two from my narration about this journey that God purposely set out for me.Â
Soli deo Gloria.
Making new, international friends
I’m one person who believes that I never meet new people by accident. Everyone who crosses my path, does so for a reason. Makini was the only friend I knew when I went to Mzumbe but he wasn’t the only one I left with. I loved the fact that we were all from different backgrounds, which made it so much more interesting. The house was always filled with energy of some sort; from teaching each other how to dance and sing cultural songs, to having deep conversations about life (apparently some day we were talking about marriage and I dozed off on the living room couch. They say {to be confirmed} that I was still contributing to the convo while asleep. Goodness me! I don’t even usually sleep talk….so it’s my word against theirs. Haha! )
As life has it, we had our share of ups and downs. But conflicts were resolved and happy moments celebrated. I’ve picked the most memorable of those to share. So here it goes.
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Cooking-
''Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly! '' M.F.K.Fisher sure wasn’t wrong about that. The kitchen is where we all met to make mandazi, cake, bubble tea, muthokoi and Mozambican badjia together. Boy wasn’t it fun!
Making Chinese stir fry for lunch
Did you notice our makeshift rolling pin? I bet you didn't, so watch it again and see the solution oriented people we were right there! Oh yeah! Lift your hands in the air! Like you don't care! (I just wanted to rhyme! Hehe!)
2. Milk thief scenario-
Speaking of food…I love milk. So for the first few days, I was sad because the only milk we could find was store-bought milk that was so expensive! Thank God we eventually were directed to a nearby homestead where they sold it quite cheaply. This was yet another task that we did together; each with his/her own bottle, walking the path together to go buy milk. One unfortunate day, we had bought milk and I offered to boil it for everyone, so that it wouldn't go bad quickly. I did so & poured the milk back into each person's designated and marked milk bottle. Lo and behold! A few hours later, Serge wanted to drink his milk but found most of it gone. In fact, he only found a quarter liter left! Yet he had bought 1 entire litre. Who had stolen the milk? Watch the video Maggie, our media correspondent on the ground made, to find out!
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Church-
It was so lovely going to church and experiencing the fellowship there. The service was filled with lovely song and dance!
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Entertainment :Dancing, singing, watching movies-
As I’ve said the house was constantly booming music. From Taiwanese songs (to which we sung along despite not knowing how to pronounce the words right) to learning how to move our waists gracefully in Mozambican dance. Moving to the beat together was definitely a favorite pastime. Leila and I actually bonded so much through composing songs with a guitar we'd borrowed (I know how to play only 5 chords, but those sufficed!). We were even able to teach Maggie, Jason and Tony a song in Kiswahili! They did a perfectly good job at it btw!
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Accident-
This was the lowlight of the entire trip. Jason was hit by a motorcycle on his way back home from lunch at the university. You can imagine the horror on my face as he was brought in unconscious&profusely bleeding, to the emergency room at the health centre. I hope I never have to see someone I know brought into the hospital I'm at in such a state. Especially because he lost his memory temporarily. It hit me most when he asked me what my name was as we rode with him in the ambulance.Â
For an entire week, we stood by him until he got full recovery. Dr. Lillian was great help through this process. She cared for him even as he was admitted at the Regional hospital. And didn’t I also see great solidarity from the guys amongst us. Makini, Tony and Michael slept with Jason at the hospital and took great care of him. Serge then became Jason’s personal bodyguard anywhere they went together. As ladies, we ensured he ate well and took him for dressing too. Eventually, God did make it all work for good.
“Every new friend is a new adventure…the start of more memories.â€
~ Patrick Lindsay
More sweet memories...
Here is what I was telling you guys about us dancing!
Plus these pictures are worth a thousand words!
Now that's enough photos lest this post becomes a photo album! See you tomorrow for some exciting things I learnt from my international friends! ;)Â
All work and no play...
All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl. In my previous posts, I’ve pretty much narrated my professional experience while there but I wore the tourist cap too! We would work till around 2pm at the hospital, so we had the rest of the afternoon to ourselves, as well as the weekends.
What better ways to have fun than explore the outdoors. This trip helped me confirm my love for nature. I’d definitely prefer a date in the wild than wining and dining at restaurants. Though there’s a place for those too. Hehe! :)
Mzumbe University (remember I’d gone for an AIESEC student exchange so that was the university the project was affiliated to) is beautiful. Most students there don’t like the fact that it’s in the rural areas but I kept saying that they are so lucky to have the mountains as their backyard!
Kilimahewa is the picnic site within the university compounds that overlooks Uluguru mountains. It felt so surreal. Having a picnic over the sunset was our favorite past-time, as we shared stories and learnt about each other’s culture, especially food. Gervas, a caring friend from AIESEC Mzumbe, brought Sharifu for us. The only way I can describe it is that it looks like a giant samosa. We had some chips mayai that day as well. Delish!
At some point, Jason was describing how they cook and eat chicken testicles in Taiwan! I was half bewildered and half bursting out in laughter at the description! :)Â
Picnics were for the dainty days though. Some days we went for the hard stuff. Hiking up Uluguru mountains wasn’t a joke. Here, I’ll let the photos by Maggie and the video that Po Yen (Jason) put together do the talking. Â
https://youtu.be/GtCQ-YUen6E
Can't wait for tomorrow's post as I'll be sharing some very personal lessons I learnt during this journey. Soli deo gloria! #WhileIwasAway #42daysinTanzania